More Giant Messes

My daughters have been perplexed by my fascination with a show called "Hoarders" and they wish I would quit retelling them about how one lady had two or three dead cats amidst her mess... she had been wondering where those cats went. I, too, have had cats come up missing over the years. It worries me.

I haven't completely become an addicted hoarder (yet). I still love to throw things away (especially dirty dishes that are too hard to wash). But in the basement of The Frame Shop I have a disconcerting number of uncompleted projects that need this or that and I stick them down there waiting for either the energy or motivation to fix or finish them.

Someone wanted to buy this chandelier. It was one I had picked up at a junk-mart, then taken apart to repaint and spruce up. We would sling together different decorations for the seasons and hang it in our window at the shop. I had probably 15 bucks in it and she was willing to pay about a 20-time mark-up. But I think that during one of my decorating frenzies I pulled too hard and some of the wires became loose so it was constantly flipping the breaker. I took it apart - real quick, you know, because I didn't really want to work on it that day - and couldn't see any obvious damage. I couldn't sell it to her when it had a short. I couldn't find the short in two seconds. And so now there it still sits and I hate it-hate it-hate it.

In that same basement, off the top of my head, are also these unfinished projects:

A 4-poster, 2-story dog bed made from an old table waiting for a ruffle...

A Paris-street-scene side table waiting for wood glue...

A 2-piece world-globe lamp set waiting for a price...

A huge candlelit chandelier waiting for a fluffing and new candles...

A traveling suitcase dog bed waiting for a safety latch...

A checkerboard side table waiting for frames that have now been completed and just need to be attached...

An entry way bench waiting for the canvas seating to be applied (canvases are ready!)...

A child's "Mary Had a Little Lamb" chair waiting for... I don't remember what it's waiting for...

A huge sign board waiting for a repaint...

A group of vintage suitcases waiting for an airing and cleaning...

A pile of vintage coke cases waiting to be made into a primitive shelving unit...

About six lamps waiting to be refurbished and rewired...

A beautiful old typewriter waiting to be taken apart so I can have the round keys...

A poodle-themed chandelier waiting to be wired with a plug...

A crystal chandelier featuring vintage artwork waiting to be wired with a plug...

Two or three old 50's swing lamps waiting to be re-purposed...

A "Three Little Bears" tea set waiting to be assembled and packaged in a vintage suitcase...

AND THESE ARE JUST THE THINGS OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD!!! Rattling round in there making me crazy because I can't seem to finish anything. Such a loser!

I'm worried that my younger daughter who is a superb organizer may be coming home in a weekend or two. She cleaned out my ridiculous home office -- painted, organized, probably found a dead cat -- and left me with the paperwork (which she would have done too if she had known what to do with it) to finish. She took pictures of the project because she may someday start an organizing business. Anyway, she's been gone a couple months and although I have worked at putting away papers, I'm still not done! I'm not done! I'm not done! The art work is hung, oh sure! The craft supply shelves have been shuffled and mulled over, oh sure! I made a bulletin board with expensive upholstery fabric and a beautiful four-inch frame which is actually too pretty to hang anything on, oh sure! But put away the paperwork! NEVER! Alicia is going to kill me. She is going to say, "I knew you wouldn't get this done." She is going to think she wasted her time. She is never going to do another project for me!

And yet, somehow, I find I'd rather tackle that 15-dollar chandelier and find its wiring problem than sit in here for three days and find out where all these papers should go. And really, I find I'd rather see if the museum glass looks as good on my 1969 Christmas Santa shadow-box snow scene (with authentic mica snow!) as I think it will... I'm going to work on that today as soon as I finish a jersey and a tassel for a couple of customers. And I gotta hurry up and do deposits and paperwork real fast before I do that.

Two more Excedrin migraine. They don't even help.